I miss mum.
I miss bro.
I miss th kids.
I miss friends.
I miss boyfriend.

Just f o u r days and i'll be back. I just dont know. Im, ofcourse, very excited to go back but on th other hand, i kinda dont wanna leave this awesome family. Well, thinking of my return, just bring me back to th day where i actually cried th day before i came here. I feel so silly now. I mean, just bec im too afraid to come here alone, travel on a plane for my very first time, alone and live with this family. Its rather diffilcult to leave your home and beloved ones. But i knew i needed this. I need to be independent, need to be on my own. Now, its rly hard to leave this family whom had been so caring towards me th whole time im here. They know exactly what i want, what i need even without telling them. They've changed me, in a good way though.

This, i must say is a rly good experience/opportunity for me. Its like th best summer i ever had. It actually let me find myself. I mean, i got lotsa freedom here that i cant do back there. Th people, their character are obviously different which makes me be more open-minded. Here, you can be more outspoken, you can say almost whatever you want bec noone actually mind. They wont take to heart. Look at th malay society in singapore for example, you cant say whatever you want bec people might think you're rude. To think about it, you're just saying your opinion which i think most of them are true anyway. They just cant accept some facts but they will unevidently prove us wrong? Okay, closest example would be obviously my dad. You cant possibly talk back to him bec its he thinks its freaking rude. I dont freaking understand why, but whatever. Whenever we argue, he will beat around th bush. No, he dont even have a point! However though, whenever i tried to prove my bloody point, which is obviously much more logical than his, he will ended it all with "Jangan kurang ajar eh?" This is th very typical orang melayu. Sometimes, i just wish my parents are as open-minded as the family here.

So, being here had so-called brought back my confidence bec i dont have someone, my sister to be precise, to bring me down. And, my cousins always pointed out bout "Who cares bout what anyone else think. Its what you think." I used to bother bout what people will think which i dont know why. Its just a good break for me to do soul-searching. Know what i rly want in life, think bout my future.

And i think i did.

I need to be independent for a sec. After all these years, i've been counting on my parents and my siblings. I remember when i was fourteen and i was afraid to call and order for a pizza? Bec, i was lacking of confidence. I was afraid i said th wrong stuffs from what im supposed to say? My sister had to forced me into it. Well, maybe i should thank her for once. If not, i'll be forever afraid of this and that.

Sometimes, you just hafta to step back, away from home to think it thru. Bec after this, i cant depend on my others to decide what i need to do. I have to decide my future and go thru it by myself. I need to be independent. Yes, i totally do.